Okay, now that I’ve got being negative out of the way, I think it’s time to show off some of the better attires wrestlers have donned in the past. They can vary from some nice looking pieces to some showy and spectacular quasi-set pieces. I’ve tried to keep the balance between men and women fairly even so, raise the curtains.
Billy Gunn – Real Men Do Wear Pink
Beth Phoenix – The Fabulous Firebird
Chris Jericho – The Ayatolla
Goldust – The Golden Carpet
The Golden One made my list for worst attires for his monstrosity at WrestleMania XIV but of course he was wearing silver that night. Here there’s no “Artist Formerly Known As...” and he’s just straight up Goldust. Women and men, straight and gay alike would be foolish not to want to try on this particular item. In the words of The Outsiders, stay golden.
Hart Dynasty – The Pink & White Will Leave You Black & Blue
Big thanks to the guy with this sign at this year’s Survivor Series and I think it would make a great slogan should the Hart Dynasty ever reform. Sadly of course that probably won’t happen now that one of them has been given their marching orders but probably the biggest match of all their careers was Money In The Bank 2010 and they sure were dressed for success. Perhaps co-ordinating their attire was the key to their success since Tamina didn’t match her two guys and of course we know how well that match worked out for the Usos.
The Hurricane – The Perfect Storm
Continuing with the superhero theme, here was a great excuse for Shane Helms to go all out with his gimmick and make it memorable. The Hurricane was one of the best comedy gimmicks in history and managed to last for five whole years as both a face and a heel. Keeping with the tradition of many superheroes before him, Helms gave himself a mask, cape, tights and even dyed his hair green for a spell. It’s too bad he was released before we could see the proper return of The Hurricane.Ivory – Very Violent Violet
Kelly Kelly – Too Cool For The Cougar
Of course none of the divas really put that much effort into their clothes or their moves really at WrestleMania 26. Creative just gave them three minutes so they could collect their paycheck and make Sensational Sherri spin in her grave at the sight of Vickie pancaking this poor girl. Ironically Kelly was the one who made the most effort that night, in both the match and the ring gear. She’s come a long way from having to take Vickie’s “cougar splash” and even King said he liked her outfit, before wondering aloud if he could talk her out of it.
LayCool – Famous And/Or Flawless
I was shocked that LayCool actually made it past two WrestleManias and I was glad that they were given proper attention at 27 after the fiasco that was 26. They were introduced as the perfect combination of beauty, talent and intelligence and they co-ordinated with Dolph and Vickie for silver. Layla added purple to hers but I have to say it’s a crime that they didn’t put those silver hoodies on WWE Shop.com, please think of the children!
Legion of Doom – Spike Your Shoulders
Who could forget the LOD Hawk and Animal? Even I who wasn’t even a fan when they were in the business always found them distinctive. These two guys certainly meant business with their tribal face paint and spiked shoulder pads. Their opponents definitely were intimidated by them, even when they had the beautiful Sunny on their arms. Sometimes she even joined in with their outfits as well.
Lita – Under The Edge
Maryse – Iron Maiden, Man
MNM – Don’t Return PETA’s Calls
It only makes sense that two guys calling themselves the A-List show up dressed for success to stroll down the red carpet. I’m surprised that they were never attacked by angry PETA members throwing blood on them for those coats (if anyone did that then sleep with one eye open from now on). Then of course there’s the sunglasses and the eye catching tights though we probably could have done without them hanging the belts from their...well belts. Don’t feel left out, Melina, as that brings us to...
Melina – Hot Wheels
Rey Mysterio – Dare Devil
Too Cool – Pretty Fly
Too Cool were indeed Pretty Fly for two white guys. Scotty and Brian donned probably their loudest and most larger than life outfits at the millennium WrestleMania and probably inspired a generation of wiggers. Scotty obliged the fans and gave us a WrestleMania-sized double WORM while Grand Master did some moonwalking, not to be outdone. Sadly this was their only Mania appearance together though Scotty would later appear at the 20th WrestleMania with Rikishi. Turn It Up!
Trish Stratus – Power To The Purple
Zack Ryder – Blingin Broski
If Zack Ryder were a woman, I’d equate his fashion choices to that of Maria who had an over-emphasis on animal prints and unnatural colours. But Zack is not a woman and therefore this kind of gear just works for him. He has one of the best gimmicks in WWE right now and he ain’t the Internet Champion for nothing. Take care, spike your hair. WWWYKI









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