15 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me

1 – I Hate Being Called By My Real Name:

This one’s probably obvious considering my Twitter username is completely different from my real one and yet it’s surprising that a lot of people I know don’t know how much I hate being addressed as “Rory”. To me it’s one of those things you just have to learn to live with like a bad birthmark or an unfortunate tramp stamp after an awesome night out but of course I saw history was full of famous people who couldn’t stand the horrible names their parents inflicted on them so I’ve actually been going by different nicknames for most of my life. I’ve had about six so far and I’m only twenty. The one I’m on now though definitely seems to be here to stay and thankfully it’s become a thing. I’m not wild about being called Bob but I’ll take it over Rory any day. If you think about it, the only people who say Rory these days were told so by a family member. Funnily enough I’ve said Bobby to many people yet they hear someone else say Rory and assume that’s what I want to be called. Well it could have been worse – if I’d been a girl I would have been either Saoirse or Lois. How have my parents not been contacted by Social Services yet?

2 – I Despise Phones:

This might seem like an odd one as well considering I never seem to stop checking my phone but I copped on in my teenage years that constantly checking your phone was a much better way to kill time than standing awkwardly staring off into space like a robot. I don’t mind mobile phones that much because they can be silenced and turned off. Plus, texting makes things a whole lot easier for me because I actually hate talking to people on the phone. It’s one of those things I can’t do and I avoid it at every opportunity. Plus if you live in a house with a gossipy mother who has an equally gossipy older sister then chances are you’ll be reduced to peeling off your own skin at the constant annoying ring that comes every five minute. If I ever move out of my parents’ house then odds are I’m not having a phone anywhere near my own house. E-mail, texting, Skype, Twitter, Facebook or how about seeing me in person is a million times more preferable to a friggin phonecall. If you ever do get a phone call from me then you know it’s important.

3 – I Have An Amazing Memory:

One side effect of a condition that’ll get much more detail in a later fact is that I have one of the strangest memories ever. I can be incredibly forgetful – such as walking into a room and forgetting why I’m there – but I can remember the weirdest amount of random little things. I can tell you what I was eating at my third birthday party. I can tell you about specific dreams I had when I spent a weekend in Paris. And if you’re a member of FFPW then chances are I can probably tell you what you were wearing on my first day. And for most people, I can remember the specific first conversations I had with them. That even goes for the random shop assistant I met three times with two years between each time.

4 – I Used To Have An Eating Disorder:

Getting a bit personal now but I’ll give you a hint – I lived. At age fourteen I wasn’t the skinniest kid but I wasn’t the chubbiest either. Unfortunately that was the age when I noticed the shape my classmates were in and that protruding gut started to give me a few sleepless nights. It didn’t help that my brother kept hurling all kinds of fat jokes at me and I had an unpleasant incident with a swim coach when I was fifteen and got told I was too fat to join the team. At the time I went down to about 6 ½ stone and kept that for about two years. I’ve gradually moved up to 8 ½ and I’m happy with that. I eat three meals a day with a couple of snacks in between and I exercise regularly. And hey, I don’t mind what I see when I look in the mirror. Of course that still doesn’t stop the mixed messages when my brother calls me a whale and my friends then tell me I need to eat something.

5 – I Support Women’s Wrestling:

Again, probably very obvious to anyone who checks my Twitter feed whenever it’s time for Raw or Smackdown but there’s actually a bit of a story behind this. The first wrestling match I ever saw was two women – a throwaway WCW match involving a beauty who would eventually be known as Molly Holly in the WWE. At the time I didn’t care about these women and wanted it to be over so I could see Kevin Nash, Lex Luger and Hulk Hogan. Then the first ever WWE women’s match I saw was that famous one where Victoria whacks Trish Stratus over the head with the steel chair – I thought to myself “these girls are awesome”. When my wrestling obsession reignited, it was two women who got me appreciating the athleticism – Gail Kim and Alicia Fox to be specific. Nowadays as a thank you for properly rekindling my wrestling obsession I support those girls because lord knows management isn’t giving them much. And hey, I watched a SHIMMER DVD and it wasn’t half bad.

6 – Evan Bourne Gave Me Hope For Men’s Wrestling:

Ah it’s the age old wrestling fan whining that proper wrestling has been dead since the Attitude Era and there’s nothing worth watching on TV these days. When I picked back up in 2009 I felt the same way. Nothing I was watching on Raw did anything for me and at this point I could see that Triple H, Undertaker, John Cena, Randy Orton and all those type of guys couldn’t wow me in the ring at all. And then along comes Evan Bourne in a famous Superstars match with Carlito. About two minutes into the match I close my laptop and am completely hooked. I then realised that it had been there all along – I just needed to look for it in the right places. So now on my must-watch list, we have Zack Ryder, Tyson Kidd, CM Punk, The Miz, Primo & Epico and even further out on the indies with Matt Cross, Low-Ki and AJ Kirsch. Here’s to you, Evan. You always commanded my undivided attention.

7 – I Can Do Many Different Accents:

For those familiar with my daily activities, I’ve actually become used to being mistaken for many different nationalities. The list includes Australian, American, Canadian, Polish, German and Spanish. Oh and British as well, which is what I actually am. This probably has something to do with me having a fairly neutral voice which I’ve gotten from many years living in Ireland and being exposed to TV shows from around the world. I used to be very posh which was pretty annoying since I was surrounded by cockneys all day. Nowadays I can tweak my accent to imitate nearly all the English dialects including RP, cockney, Manchunian, Scouser and a bit of urban street talk which I’m still working on. For other countries I can do a neutral American accent and then tweak it slightly to fit a New York twang and then even more to sound Canadian. Of course I can do Australian no problem and since I know how to tell the difference between an Aussie and a Kiwi I should be able to master the New Zealand accent pretty soon. Sorry to the Paddies, but I have never been able to do an Irish accent. The closest I can manage is a Derry one and even that isn’t easy for me.

8 – I Avoid Saying Words That I Hate The Sound Of:

This one probably needs a little more explanation – there are some words that I hate the way they sound with my voice. As such, I avoid saying them which can actually be a bit of a pain because some of them are words that do come up in everyday conversation. I hate the way I say the word “party” for example and if I ever have to, I just quickly mumble it and hope the other person gets the gist. There’s also a wide range of weird Carlow expressions my friends use that I really can’t stand and I dislike them so much I’m not even going to write them up on here. You can guess that the Thesaurus is probably one of my best friends now. It can actually extend to people’s names as well. I had a friend in high school called Paudi and to this day I have never called him by his first name. At least not out loud anyway. I heard myself say it one day and vowed never to say it again. On the bright side it did lead to me creating a fun little nickname for him. Chances are if you’ve never heard me say your name and we’ve known each other for a while, it’s one of those words.

9) I’ve Been Off The Booze Since Age 15:

Okay this one is probably a lot more obvious since I’ve got straight edge in my Twitter profile description but perhaps people want a more in depth explanation. In short, I always dreaded the age when I’d have to start drinking. When I was a kid I assumed it was something everyone had to do. Afterall, all the men in my family were heavy drinkers and my dad actually gave me Guinness a couple of times when I was five years old. And so when I was fourteen I finally gave it a go and it was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. People told me it would get better if I just kept doing it and got used to it so I did it about three more times but it wasn’t long before I was completely sick of that kind of buzz. I never really made a conscious decision to stop and I just found myself in situations where I was refusing offers and the like. I knew your average crowd of 16-18 year old Irish teens would not accept an unbeliever so at first I pretended and then I even started making up stories about being allergic to it and a couple of times I even threw out an alcoholic story there. These days people are a lot more accepting but just to make sure, I don’t accept drinks from people if I haven’t seen them being poured.

10) I Don’t Get Angry, I Get Even:

From a young age, every single person in my family helped squash any anger urges that built up inside me. I’ve never been allowed to get angry once. My brother and father have enough of a bad temper between them so I guess a third hot headed male in the family would have been too much. Anyway, I quickly learned that getting angry doesn’t solve anything. You look like an idiot and you end up embarrassing yourself. My philosophy is that if someone has pissed you off in a severe way, get even and then move on. Case in point – a couple of girls I was friendly with invited me over for dinner one night and went around spiking every drink in the house as well as the jelly they were serving. I was furious of course but I got my revenge by taking a half empty bottle of vodka with me to the toilets and filling it up in my own little way. To this day I don’t know if they drank it but I haven’t associated with them ever since. I’ll be polite and say hello if they pass me on the street but I won’t get too close. After all, they might still have piss breath.

11) Short Hair On Women Is My Deal Breaker:

Every person has the one thing that destroys an attraction to the opposite sex (or same sex if that’s what you’re into). For some it’s a deep and emotional thing but for me it’s something shallow. Which basically means you can be late for dinner every day of the week and I’ll likely be okay with it but if you abruptly cut your hair short then I’m probably going to be running for the hills in less than a week. I have never found a woman with short hair to be attractive and it’s a philosophy that isn’t going to change any time soon. I’m not completely opposed to the idea so future girlfriends/wives/casual acquaintences, if you’re thinking of chopping all your hair off then please let me know in advance so I can prepare for the upcoming depression. But if you decide on a whim to get the chop and come home with it like that to surprise me then be ready for a surprise of your own. For those wondering, the shoulders is the shortest I believe a woman’s hair should be. I’m not completely opposed to pixie cuts since you can get the odd girl who’ll pull it off but to me The Bob is the ugliest hairstyle ever invented and not one woman on this Earth looks attractive with one.

12) My List Of Phobias Are…:

 Well women with short hair is a big one coming off from number 11 but I’m incredibly arachnophobic as I hate spiders with a burning fiery passion. They are disgusting creatures and I won’t hesitate to squash one if I see it (provided it’s small – the big ones will get a big girly scream as I run away as fast as my legs will let me). I’m pyrophobic as well which I only discovered when I lit a match for the first time. Then getting even more deep into it is my fear of large crowds. I have a similar reaction to someone who’s claustrophobic when I’m walking through a large crowd of people. Even if three or more pass me on the street, I’m likely to feel some form of anxiety. And heaven help me if they happen to be teenagers in school uniforms. Then of course there’s the average fears of wasps, loud noises, severe illnesses and my most recent one of vomiting. You’ll be surprised how many foods I eliminated from my diet because of my intense fear of throwing them up.

13) My Taste In Movies…:

This does tend to shift depending on what time of the year it is but there are a few specific genres I seem to cycle through. For ages I couldn’t get enough of horror films. I love them for some reason and being scared is just one big thrill to me. I hate The Shining though, and won’t hesitate to vehemently explain why it is far from the best horror film ever made to people who suggest otherwise. I do like my sci-fi films but I’ve never actually seen Star Wars or watched Star Trek or the like. Aliens was my favourite film for years and Michael Biehn was my idol. Then of course there’s the fantasy films which I loved when I was a kid – Lord of the Rings remains the film that made the biggest impression on me. And I gotta have some epics in there but I like the odd drama every now and then. However I despise comedy movies with a passion. I don’t know why but to me, comedy is something best suited to a half-hour TV episode and not something you stretch out for 90 minutes. I don’t mind other genres with comedy in them but when comedy is the sole genre, the film is off my list.

14) I’m An Insomniac:

Again, could be obvious if you glance at my Twitter or Facebook page and see how many early morning/late night posts there are but chances are even if I don’t post anything, I’m still going to be on there for ages late at night/early in the morning. I’ve had insomnia ever since I was a kid and getting to sleep is the biggest challenge of the day (unless said day happens to be a Danny Butler training session). I’ve researched it and read all the reports on how it’s stress-related and all that but really the only way that’ll help me is if I turn off my brain for the night which of course is impossible (if it isn’t then please direct me). I have developed some ways of getting to sleep earlier such as not eating after 7 pm, staying away from lights late at night and doing stuff before bed to tire me out but it’s pretty rare for me to get a full good night’s sleep. However if I come home during the day and hop into bed, I’ll be out like a light pretty soon. Someone care to explain that?

15) I’m Autistic:

This one I’ve known since I was ten years old though I’d suspected that I wasn’t exactly a nice normal child for long before that. I have a condition called Asperger’s Syndrome where I have trouble functioning in social situations among other things. Anyone who’s met me recently will probably just think I need to cut back on the caffeine (which I probably do) but if you met me before the age of 17 you’d know something wasn’t right. It’s taken years of practice and hard work to get me comfortable out there in the wild and even then I’ll still have to plan out possible conversations I might have to have in the future as well as being terrible with eye contact. This condition is also what helps me have my freaky memory as well as my weird obsessions with things and my fear of talking on the phone. Sarcasm is something I have trouble understanding sometimes but as always I’m getting better the more time I spend in the wild. Talking online is a lot easier for me so don’t be surprised if I seem to be a better person to talk to when there’s a computer screen separating us.